On Being a Daughter of Rev. Moon - Un Jin Moon
This is an excerpt of a transcript of a talk given in the UTS Student Lounge, May 13, 1994, and published in Cornerstone.
It's funny, from what I've heard, a lot of people were reluctant to come here. I myself came here upon Father's request, not because I at first said, "Oh, wow, since I graduated, I might as well, why not?" It's not that I was enthusiastic about coming here. I know other people came here possibly because they didn't have anything better to do, they were soul searching, they needed to go somewhere to find out what it was about their life that made it so miserable. Or maybe some people were genuinely seeking to better themselves; whatever the reason is, you are here. But for what reason are you here?
I know that here, we all get put in situations where we attack the Principle. In a sense, that has always been one form of study, where by discarding what you think is hypothetical truth, you come to the realization that it is reality or truth. That has been one form of school, and that is fine with me, but I see the danger of that. What I see as a danger to that is this: the seminary right now does not stand, right now, in a position to be the best school in the United States or the world. As a student body I think we lack in caliber and attitude to work, and that is the honest truth that I am saying. More than that I wonder about the administration and faculty. I wonder to what extent they are trying to cultivate our lives, to excite our lives, to make it worth learning here for two years. I wonder to what extent they are caught up in dogma, to what extent they're stuck with old rules, to what extent they're seething in senility.
Maybe these words are harsh, but these are things I have seen, not as a student here but more as an outsider who has come here just to watch from the periphery. The problem I see with a lot of the teachers is, I feel, they've been here for quite a long while. I don't see a spark anymore. I don't see the spark that they must have had when they first got their Ph.D. What it means to do field work, what it means to really get interactive with the students, what it means to really make it a community worth learning for. In many ways it's a two-way street. In the same way, I don't know how many of the students here are really absolutely dedicated to learning or really willing to take that initiative, get up in the morning and really dedicate themselves to learning and accepting what the teachers have to offer them. Whether they are also just going through the motions, I wonder about that.
The other danger I see is this: we are a community, we are a real coterie of people, just like any other community you tend to be so bogged down with yourselves and your own activities and you lose sight of what's happening with the rest of the movement or with the world in general. For instance, I wonder how many of you know what Father is doing right now. I wonder how many of you have been reading about what Father is doing right now. I wonder how many of you are learning Korean. I wonder about all these things. I mean, it's not that you are in a community or you're in an institution and thus you can do it. You've got to push yourselves, you really have to find it from within, to want it. But to want it for what purpose is another reason or another thing to ponder about. Why do we get an education? For what? Why do we critique, even, the Divine Principle? I mean, that's basically what all the theological classes are for, we're here to learn about the different theologies, the different religions of the world and see how, in Dr. Shimmyo's words, we can use the "apologetic method to win them over." What is that all about? The danger is that I see us getting too bogged down in rhetoric and linguistics and things that I don't find particularly respectable. Let me use a simile here; I don't want to offend, so I am glad none of the professors are here, but I am going to use this simile. I liken professors to toads in a pond-O.K., I'll give them more respect-I liken them to bullfrogs in a pond. I think sometimes maybe they are unaware of the bigger picture; that is what a Ph.D. is all about. In many ways, you get so bogged down about an issue that is so small that you rip that issue apart until you have absolutely nothing left and you've annihilated everything; that is a pessimistic way of looking at it. But that is how much respect I have for religion and education in general. Why is that?
It all depends on what purpose we are studying for. Let's use me as an example. You can say, since my passions in life have been history, art and horses, you can say that maybe I am not antiquated, I don't know, artsy-fartsy cowgirl type, you know, I mean, what's the use? Maybe you can say that, some people might argue that. Everything seems so relative. But it all depends on what we're doing it for. What are we studying for? Do we study to make our egos bigger? Do we study just to be a sophist, so that we can just play this game jargon of words, is that why we are studying, is that why we are here? Just to show off our egos? I sometimes wonder why people do it. Why would anyone want to spend ten years of their life dedicated to such a small issue and be so aloof to the rest of the world and the goings on in it-why?
The only thing that makes it all valid is if they stay absolutely in center with what the Divine Principle teaches. Why do you study? You don't do it for yourselves, you do it for the sake of others. Then everything can become valuable. I wonder if we're losing touch with that-that's the fine line we lead between faith and reality. We have our faith, but there is also the reality of life and sometimes I think the reality of life gets the better of us. The question is: how can we lead our lives with that absolute faith and conviction and never waver? The only answer I can give you is: look at Father.
Look at Father's course and look at Mother's course. Every single time they are placed in a situation that seems impossible, every single time they are persecuted, I have never seen them blamed anyone [with tears], I have never seen them in a position to antagonize. It has always been to forgive and to forget; that is the nature of True Love. Father has said that a zillion times, but do we know what that really means, to forgive and to forget? To love one's enemy-what does that mean?
I doubt that all of you are juniors, I don't think there are many juniors, but I want you to get something out of this seminary; I don't want you to say, "Oh, it's another two years of my life totally wasted, down the drain." In that sense, it should be the most valuable time of your life, a time for reflection, a time to ponder, a time to think about the future. What do you want to leave behind for your children? What do you want to leave behind to say that you existed as a human being? Is it wealth, is it power, is it knowledge? Absolutely not. I don't think really highly of knowledge at all unless it is for a certain purpose. I couldn't are less where the professors got their Ph.D.'s; I don't care if it's Ivy League-that doesn't mean anything. Honestly speaking, I don't think Father cares much for it.
You know, Father said something interesting to the graduating class last year when they went to the 40-day workshop up in Alaska; I happen to know because my husband was in it. He said that 90% of the things you have learned in the Seminary is garbage, so just discard it." What does that mean? What does that mean about our time here. I want you all to make that evaluation and come to that conclusion on your own; I am not here to answer that question for you. One of the things that Father was trying to teach the seminarians in Alaska was, as you heard, the way of the Salmon, the way of True Love. Yea, we're learning Taoism and Confucianism, we always talk about "the Way" in eastern philosophy, but what does that really mean? That means being able to live for the children, the offspring, the generations to come- that is the way of the Salmon. What is our purpose? Our purpose is to be able to sacrifice, to give of ourselves and to not complain and to be grateful for it for the sake of the world and for the sake of future generations. What happens, I think, is that we tend to look at our own little world, we only see microscopically, we don't see beyond ourselves sometimes I don't think western culture helps that in any way. Western culture always teaches that the individual is prima donna, that it's number one, it never teaches to live for the sake of others. I think that is one valuable lesson we can all learn here, if nothing else.
I went up to Father and asked him a very personal question; I said, "Father, as the daughter of the Rev. Moon, obviously there has been a lot of persecution. I also see that you are still suffering a lot. That, regardless of how much you preach and give to people, those in the position, in the Cain position to give back, I don't see enough of-and when I do see it, I wonder if it's just out of going through the motions. I don't know if it is out of genuine heart." I asked Father, "Why is it that good people in the world are always suffering? Why is it that you still suffer?" Father's answer was in many ways unexpected because it was so contrite. Father said, "Think about Heavenly Father." That was basically his answer.